Man, this is taking me back. I remember it like it was yesterday (many years ago....lol). I was fifteen. A young tenderoni. I hadn't thought about what my first time would be like or who it would be with. So I didn't have these fairytale fantasies of it being the most wonderful experience EVER. I was dating this guy who was eighteen. It was my friends cousin. We had been dating for a couple of months. It was in June. We had short days in school because it was the end of the school year. So one day on one of the short days I go and chill with him in Brooklyn. We go and walk around Coney Island for a little bit. It was hot as hell that day. We grab something to eat and go back to his house. No one was home and we go to his room.
We're sitting on the bed and he starts kissing me on the neck and we start making out. Then my top comes completely off. That never happened before.....we keep on.... then his shirt comes off.....then his pants..... In the back of my mind I'm like "Oh my gawd! Are we going to.....?" Then he pulled a Criss Angel on me and next thing I know my shorts were off. I don't remember them coming off but there they were at the foot of the bed. I have to say he was rather gentle and exacting. We went from making out to it feeling more like intimacy- like grown folks intimacy. What he didn't know was that I was a virgin. I never divulged that I was I guess because I didn't want some guy feeling like he was the muthaphuckin man because I gave it up to him first. I didn't need someone going around bragging. It was a moment I wanted to keep to myself and feel like it was MY moment. I didn't love this guy. We weren't planning to be together forever. I knew damn well I wasn't saving myself for marriage. When the time presented itself, who knew he would be the one I lost my virginity to?
So there I was in my bra and panties. I was trying to play it cool when he got up to get a condom. My mind was racing. I was thinking a million and one thoughts. Would it hurt? Does it really feel as good as people make it seem on television? What am I suppose to do?
He comes back to the bed and pulls his underwear off. At that moment I thought, MY GAWD! HIS PEEN IS HUGE! AWWW, IT'S GONNA KILL ME! Thinking back after quite a few sexual experiences, he was holding EXTREMELY WELL ENDOWED. He puts the condom on and slips my panties off. I felt like I was tensing up and had to quickly let my mind drift to get me to relax so I wouldn't raise suspicion. He climbs on top and we start kissing. He eases my legs open and began to enter me. Needless to say I was a bit "tight." LMAO
I had no clue what he was thinking at that moment. I'd like to think he was excited that my shit wasn't loose like JJ from Good Times lips. He was pretty gentle and when he was halfway in that's when it began to hurt a little bit. Once he was in there we were off and running. Man he was pounding it like there was no tomorrow. Since he was well endowed and pounding at it AND being that it was my first time I couldn't really enjoy it like I enjoy sex now. It was exciting and scary and a little painful. I hung in there and did what most women do...moaned, groaned etc...not because it was the best thing ever but because I was a little ouchy. The moans and groans kept ole boy motivated to finish the job and indeed he did. So when we were done, he didn't pull out right away we laid there and kissed for a little while. I kept wondering if he was gearing up for round two which I WAS NOT ready for. LOL He pulled out and told me he'd be right back and went to the bathroom. I sat straight up and began checking to make sure my pussy didn't fall out. When I looked down I noticed there was a little blood on the comforter. I panicked. I remembered other friends saying that a dude knows you're a virgin when there's blood on the sheets because he just broke your hymen. WHAT THE FUCK WAS I GONNA DO?! So I yelled to please bring me a warm wash cloth with a little bit of soap on it. He brought the cloth back and went to the kitchen to fix a sandwich. Men. *insert eye roll* I cleaned myself up and scrubbed the hell outta the comforter. The comforter was brown and had all these patterns which was a good thing because if it wasn't I was SCREWED.
After it was all said and done, we both got dressed and he walked me to the train station. We kissed goodbye and he made me promise to call him when I got home to make sure I got there ok. I remember sitting on the train and wincing because I was soooo sore. I'm sure I was walking like someone with a shitty diaper when I walked home from the train station. I tried to walk as normal as possible but it was so hard. No one was home when I got there. I called him to let him know I got home ok and immediately jumped in the shower. I was in there FOREVER. Lawd when it came time to scrub down my pussy it felt like Mike Tyson beat the shit out of it. It was sore and very sensitive. For the rest of that afternoon I sat in my room on my bed in amazement that I had just lost my virginity. I didn't feel compelled to tell anyone and I was like the CIA to make sure no one found out I lost my virginity. Overall it wasn't a bad experience. I had often mentioned that if I could do it over again I would have like to have lost my virginity to someone else. But everything happens for a reason and that was just my time to lose it with that individual. If ole boy could get a taste now of what years and experience has taught me.... I'd return the favor and he'd be the one in the shower sore and sensitive. LOL
