12 First Time Friday: What A Stud

Break me off, show me what you got/ cause I dont want no one minute man -Missy

My very first time I was so nervous about nuttin too quick, I used to hang out with these dudes and we called ourselves the playaz circle (shut up). They told me about something called Lidocaine which numbs the penis and makes you last longer. I won't tell you how old I was but lets just say I grew up extra christian so I wasnt really allowed to date when I was younger, I was like the jackson 5 in the movie, after school I had to come straight home. I met this chick one night and spent the better part of a week gaming her up on the phone and got to the point where she said I could drive to her side of town and hit it. I remember she said she liked rugged dudes so I went and got me a pair of Timberlands and a white t shirt ( SHUT UP!!) and one of those little du rag things for my head. I didn't know how to tie it so I just let it lay on my head ever so gently.

I went to the adult store and asked for Lidocaine and the guy slid me some Stud 100 for like $30 or something. I went over the girls house and parked 2 houses down in case her parents came home and I had to dash out.I get out of my 1993 doo doo brown dodge shadow (will you please shut the fuck up?) and check out my thug gear in the tinted windows (you damn right i got that bitch tinted) , I looked fresh. I go in the house and my girl opens up, we slob a little by the door then I go inside and meet her sister, Her sister knows whats up so she leaves us alone in the living room.

We small talk for a while then start making out on the sofa, I kept having to readjust my du rag but that is another matter altogether. She tells me she's ready to move it into the bedroom, I tell her I gotta use the bathroom 1st. I go in there and pull my trusty Stud 100 out of my pocket and give the tip of my SCHLONG a squirt. I want to make sure it will work so I give it an extra 2 or 3 squirts to make sure it takes.*think about it now, Ive just sprayed like 3 milligrams or something of Lidocaine on my penis* . I should have known something was wrong when I flicked the tip of my dick with my finger and felt NOTHING.

I go in the room and she is playing one of those baby maker cd's they sell at the gas station in the hood. I take off my white T and lay it ever so neatly on a chair because I dont like being wrinkled.I pull down my pants and stick it in and





I had numbed my dick to the point where you could have cut it off and I wouldn't have known.She was a big girl (nodays done hit a few big ones in his day, I don't deny it) and I was up there forever just a pumping and a sweating. I didn't want her to know what I did so I am pretending it's real good when in fact I can't feel shit. GOTDAMN THAT PUSSY GOOD!! GIRL YOU GONNA MAKE ME NUT ALL OVER MYSELF!!! blah blah blah I'm faking and acting better than Denzel. Her fat ass done nutted like 25 min ago and Im still on top giving an emmy winning performance. We fucked so long that the cd had stopped. She tells me shes tired and dry so I tell her that I'm done. I pull my pants up and make sure my gangsta ensemble is intact and bounce, She calls me later and tells me she feels bad cause I didn't nut. It made her feel her coochie wasn't good so she wanted to prove to me it was. We made a date to smash the next day. Tell me why my young stupid ass still used the Lidocaine again. I wore her fat ass out that night in the back of my car till I had no energy left and my windows was steamy.On the way home I tossed the Stud 100 out the window at 60 miles an hour, ok I'm lying, my Dodge couldn't do 60.


  1. WOWSER! That is all i have to say about that!


    WHY the hell would you put that ish back on your d!ck?

    Um? the backseat of Shadow's AIN'T that big....lmao

    A du rag? seriously...A DU RAG?? that ain't even tied!!!


  3. Bammy-

    1. I set such a high standard the first time i REALLY couldnt be a 1 minute man this time

    2. lol ,how you know? we was rumbling in that backseat, i was beating it up and it was beating me up

    3.I had a choice a) TIED or b) LAID TO THE SIDE. I chose b, tis all

  4. @n0days don't be threatening me I got ya email! LOL...I'm lazy right now and i'mma be back to expound COMPLETELY on this first time fuckery!!! LOL!!!! loves.it!

  5. Each time I read this, I bust out laughing...I can't help it!!!!!!!!! Just the thought of putting Lidocaine on his dick is making me ROTFL!!!!!!!!

  6. by far one of the funniest stories ever. but...why u kept using that stuff??????

  7. N0days you are an Official Grade A Fuckery Fool for this shit right here... I let hubby read this and he cried and wept over your lidocaine mishap..

    I betcha I'mma try summa that Lidocaine on his ole ass tonight... LOL! I kid.. I kid...


  8. What kind of nonsense is the lol....aww nodays i'm sure you would have been fine au natural... what if the stuff didnt wear off and u felt nothing for a day or so??? aww man 'ol girl was dry as the Sahara messing with u lol....Great story Denzel!!!!!!! what's with the sisqo picture???

  9. Let me find out you really are Sisqo....lmao

  10. that was soooo funny

  11. LOL this was hilarious stuff...I read it..forgot the title and came back looking for it..hilarious


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